Wonderful and Sad
by Franny Moon
Summary: Remus misses Sirius so terribly... Is one night with him in the shack going to make up for all those years apart? How far is he ready to go to make this night finally happen? slash


This fanfiction is a birthday gift to my wonderful friend, Stacy Janice Elton. I hope everyone on the planet had a wonderful July 14th day, but especially you, Darling -.

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**WONDERFUL AND SAD**

**By Franny Moon**

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The nervous man was wringing his trembling hands together, almost frantically. He separated them momentarily to rake the left through his greying hair and then went back to squeezing them together, heaving a shaky sigh. The weather seemed to match his emotions as an apocalyptic storm raged outside. Every one of his frenetic moves, every one of his itching breaths radiated anxiety, nervousness. What he was about to do tonight was against every single one of his well-defined convictions. It would have seemed sickening, revolting and disgusting in the eyes of everyone he knew, but he wanted, he -needed- this so very badly. After so many lonely cold nights, after so many attempts at being normal, he couldn't pretend no more and when the door of the Shrieking Shack swung open, he couldn't help the strangled cry.

"Sirius!"

As the other man made a few steps in the room, Remus leapt to his feet and welcomed the newcomer with a tender embrace.

"Sirius..." he whispered softly, his face buried in the black-clad shoulder. "Oh Sirius, you're here..."

The dark-haired man's voice was choked as well when he spoke.

"Y...yes Remus. Yes I'm here..." He said with a smile that was nothing like the smile his face wore when he was a teenager.

Tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, Remus looked up into Sirius' blue eyes.

"I've been waiting for this moment since I heard you escaped... Sirius, if only you knew..."

The taller man awkwardly rubbed the smaller's back and answered:

"I know..."

Lupin gripped his friend's form tightly.

"I missed you so much! Oh Sirius please. I missed you so much... Sirius, Oh Sirius..." he babbled incoherently, breathing in Sirius's intoxicating scent.

"I'm here..."the other man answered nervously and tentatively touched his lips to the other man's in a chaste kiss.

"Mmh..." The werewolf produced a small appreciative sound, the warmth of the other mouth on his was almost too much for him.

When they broke apart for air, Remus launched into an incessant flow of words.

"So many things left unsaid... Let's forget all those years, Sirius, please..." he whispered against Sirius's full lips. "I've always loved you Sirius, back in Hogwart, you meant so much to me, but I never could've told you... I couldn't risk losing you... but then You-Know-Who appeared and we graduated and everything became such a mess and..." he gasped for breaths as he continued "and then you got arrested... taken away from me... I lost... I lost everything... I was an empty shell... Oh Sirius I was so alone... I missed you so much..."

Sirius's features were contorted in pain, Remus's sorrow was easily palpable.

"I...I...Oh Remus!"

Remus hushed him with another passionate kiss. The black haired man answered with a feral growl and sucked on Remus's lower lip hungrily, loving every little whimpers that came out of the delicious mouth he was ravishing. Sucking eagerly on Lupin's parted lips, his kisses grew greedier. Incredibly turned on by the squelching sounds produced between every wet kisses, Remus roamed his hands up and down Sirius's body, needing the close contact. Their wet tongues shining as they met and caressed and pushed and battled. Their saliva mingling beautifully and dripping down their chins, soon to be lapped.

"Sh... shouldn't we talk a bit... more?" asked the black haired man, between pants.

"There's no time..." whispered back the smaller man brokenly as he pressed his lips to Sirius's again.

A burning long-repressed passion was coursing through Remus's body and he willingly gave himself up to the overwhelming sensations. It was hot and wet and delicious. And it was Sirius, and he was –here-! And it was wonderful, practically too good to be true.

"Can't!...Believe...! You're here!... with me!..." Remus gasped between kisses.

"Can't believe it either, thrust me..." Sirius's voice echoed in his left ear as he felt a hot tongue licking this sensitive spot just below his ear.

Not quite his jaw, not quite his neck, but an incredibly pleasurable part of his body it was. And the warm mouth was everywhere, it was everything. The tender strokes of the pink tongue, the ticklish feeling of the other man's quickening breaths on hi skin. The manly hands on his back, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his hips, sometimes daring a squeeze lower.

And those squeezes were making Remus feverish. He was burning, he wanted Sirus's hands anywhere, everywhere. He wanted to feel good, to make Sirius feel good. He wanted to forget the pain and to be allowed all these pleasures that were kept from him for so long.

In the haze of their shared passion, they found themselves falling on the unmade bed that was placed against on of the walls of the tiny room.. Which one of the two had led the other there? Which was holding the other the tighter? Who was shaking the worse? Did it really matter?

What did matter was how their body fitted together, how their hands locked together so naturally, how their lips had been sculpted to fit like two lost pieces of the same puzzle. How Lupin's light brown hair mixed to beautifully with Black's deep ebony, how their scarred skins ached for every parts of them to be touching the other.

And when their kisses got even wilder, their moans even more fervent, the creaking protests of the old bed even louder, their knuckles already pale from gripping anything they could even whiter, their bodies even sweatier, their legs even more entangled, their toes even more curled, their discarded clothes even more crumpled, when Sirius Black found completion inside Remus Lupin's body, the werewolf felt a sense of rightfulness that he had awaited for so long. It was as if for a few moments everything in the world was in the right place. Every clocks showed the accurate time, every words were spelled correctly, every songs ignored the meaning of off-key.

Everything was finally perfect.

And quite expectedly, Remus found himself weeping softly, for the joy this oh-so waited realization brought to him.

"Oh Sirius, I love you... so much. I always have... always will... I miss you... I love you..." he whispered brokenly, in the aftermath of this tremendous joy he had awaited for the better part of his life.

The man next to him suddenly looked pained, but Remus smiled sadly through his tears.

"I...It's okay, you don't have to say it back, I understand. I've already asked so much, I can't make you do that. Not after everything you've already done. I'm very thankful. I'll never forget what you did for me..."

Black's face was paling at a rhythm that would have been alarming if Lupin didn't know what was going on. His full lips were becoming thin, his square chin, long and pointy, his fluffy hair, greasy and shorter, his perfectly shaped nose, crooked.

"Thank you, Severus..." Remus said to the potion master as the Polyjuice potion lost its effect.

Snape quickly gathered his articles of clothing and got dressed.

"Don't mention it, Lupin. I certainly won't." he said briskly.

"Why did you do it if it seems to disgust you so much, Severus..."asked Remus as his smile faltered.

Snape looked away.

"Because I know it's the only way I could ever have you, Lupin." He answered just as coldly as before.

The werewolf buried his face in the pillow so the greasy-haired man had no idea what his reaction was. After a few silent moment, a sob was heard and Snape sighed. His features softened.

"Remus... Black is dead. You can pretend all you want, he will not come back. Let go."

The wail was so loud it wasn't even muffled by the pillow. Snape closed his eyes and waited until it stopped. And then:

"Leave..."

It was pronounced in such a defeated tone that it pained the former Death Eater.

"Please... Severus, Leave now..."

Uncharacteristically, the potion master obeyed and stood up, his face back into its normal scowl.

"Fine. Be that way, Lupin. Rot in your own misery!"

Severus Snape walked to the door in quick strides, once outside, he snapped it shut and engulfed himself in the storm once again, raging against the stubborn fool of a werewolf that was Remus Lupin.

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"_Wonderful and sad_

_How can you be so?_

Wonderful...

_I wish that happiness could just be pretended..."_

_-Wonderful and sad, Hawksley Workman_


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